Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Ttc 1 Week Before Period

greet well from school

I sit now in the school and have three hours of computer science in front of me .... I'm pretty much at the end .... I can not write properly last time. everything makes me unhappy, I'm by myself terribly sick .... and I can not .... I hope and despair, and actually I can not find words for it all .... I despise myself and can only shake your head about me, I'm just to throw up .... I do not know how to say it all ... I'm afraid and I fear permanently and the other, I am angry and feel hatred.
I'm sorry. I am disgusting .... and now I'm crying right now or not, I have to pull myself together .... have recently revived more often the feeling to cry at least internally but also physically, and yet I feel so disgusting .... and wrong .... oh well maybe I should watch in the classroom to which I have but little pleasure .... hmm ... I'm waiting .... I wait all the time that what happened again .... and I'm thinking and want to hit and scream and much more ... but I can not and I can not .... khsearhkKRAHHHHHHH ashdiflklhilfe ........ I sdfaöiwehfasldfj Heufler ksdjlgfeklichlilhljeöwijw23o8ruijsdfnklwölkejroiÖJKFSDMFN LIUHJNÖDOFIJEWÖLASKNDFSLJKDBSDKLJVGBSDVKJSDNBAKJSDFHJSLEÖIFJHSEÖIFHASÖLDKFHEISLHEFLKDHFELISHFLISEFHSNDCVBVUHBRIOU ksjdifejselfjn v krah .... help ... I can not .... I write only scraps .... today during english language schools I've also what gekutzelt .... lubricated .... not written ....
i am going to die of pain
i can not live in this world
help me and free me
take me away!!
i want to be kind of blind
i do not want to see
and think and feel .... i want to kill myself
free me! i can not live here
i can not bear the pain,
cut me and take my live and my blood

well, but never mind ... I'm just a little break ....


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